Blog About Potty Training Abuse Court Case

I read about the Arizona child abuse trial involving Raul and Trica Varela and my heart sank—first for the child, and then for the parents. The broken bones and bruises inflicted on the Varela’s 4-year-old daughter during a “potty-training war” speaks to the frustration parents often experience when attempting to toilet train their children.

While there is likely a lot more to the Valera situation than two parents trying to potty train a child, and while most parents would never allow their emotions and their behavior to get as out of control as these two parents did, much can be learned from this cautionary tale.

Toilet training often causes parents to act in ways that are far beyond what is normal for them. The tipping point is often the complete exhaustion and exasperation that builds up after two years or more of dealing with the constant hassle and aggravation of dirty diapers.

If you hope to potty train your child, it is crucial to avoid setting yourself up for failure. Wait for your child to be physically, intellectually, and emotionally ready to use the toilet. Avoid setting deadlines. Instead give the process many months to produce the desired results. Expect and accept normal accidents and setbacks. Praise any amount of progress no matter how small it is. And find comfort in the reality that this too shall pass. (Do you know of a normal kindergartener who still wears diapers? Probably not.)

With a solid strategy and a healthy amount of patience, I promise you that dirty diapers can and will indeed be a thing of the past.