Parenting Advice From Joy Berry: Teaching Children About the Birds and the Bees
Okay. It’s a fair question.
“How do you teach children about sex without causing them to “become sexual” too early?” someone asked after reading my last blog.
First of all, parents need to understand and accept the fact that human sexuality is a part of human life and human beings are born with sexual attributes and natures. So, “becoming sexual” begins in the womb.
Next, parents need to treat every part of their child’s body equally. This means that from the beginning, they need to call every body part by its actual name. Unfortunately, when one nicknames private parts and does not do the same thing with other body parts, one can subconsciously convey the thought that private parts might be different from other body parts in a negative way.
Think about it. Why would one call an arm an “arm” while calling a penis a “wee wee” unless there were something strange or unacceptable about the word “penis?”
In addition to calling body parts by their real names, as soon as a child can understand, parents need to explain to their children what the purpose is of every body part and how it works. This can happen quite early in life. And the earlier it happens, the better.
When my children were toddlers, I put kids books about human sexuality on the bookshelf with all of the other kids books about various subjects. Then whenever the children chose the human sexuality books at bedtime, we went through them just as we would any other book.
There was always a great deal of interest when a new book about human sexuality was introduced. However, interest would begin to wane once my son or daughter understood the contents of the book. It was like, “Okay, okay we got that. Now let’s move on to something else.”
Early sex education came in handy when it came time to discuss the potential dangers that surround children. Since sexual abusers can often be family members, children need to know at an early age how to respond to inappropriate advances and behavior.
Staving off sexual abuse begins with (1) an understanding and respect for one’s body, and (2) an understanding that other people do not have the right to touch a person’s body in ways that are uncomfortable for the person.
Protecting children from sexual abuse also begins with continued open and honest communications between parents and children. This is something that needs to be fostered from the very beginning of a child’s life.
Victorian mores might have served a purpose when they were first invented, but they are irrelevant to the twenty-first century and need to be replaced with a healthy love and appreciation for every aspect of human sexuality.
