Parenting Advice From Joy Berry: Are Addictions a Moral Issue?

The other day, I overheard a mother tell her young son that a teenage panhandler they had just passed on the sidewalk was “a drug addict.” When the boy asked her what that meant, she answered, “He’s a bad person.”

I’m not certain how or when addictions became a moral issue. But I am certain that the two subjects do not belong in the same category. To me, addictions relate to pragmatic issues rather than moral ones. In other words, while addictions might be bad for a person, they don’t determine whether or not someone is a bad person.

More often than not, a lot of condemnation is attached to moral judgments. This means that immoral people are often considered to be unworthy of acceptance and consideration. Unfortunately, such a stance is counterproductive when it comes to addictions. Consequently equating addictions to immorality is problematic.

Raising a child who is moral requires a different rationale than raising a child who is free of addictions. Raising a moral child involves imparting to him or her a genuine understanding of the Golden Rule, and motivating the child to apply the rule to his or her daily life. On the other hand, raising a non-addictive child requires a rational that goes something like this:

1.    You are a unique individual born with a special purpose that no one else can fulfill.

2.    You will be happiest when you discover and define your special purpose and focus most of the your time, energy, and effort on fulfilling that purpose.

3.    Therefore anything that inhibits you from fulfilling your purpose can hinder you from being genuinely happy.

4.    Because an addiction can distract you from fulfilling your purpose and thus attaining true happiness, addiction needs to be avoided.

This pragmatic approach needs to be applied to any behavior that might hinder a person from becoming all that he or she is meant to be. Thus, treating controversial matters such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, or sex as potential hindrances to personal success rather than vices can help to replace distain with compassion—which is far more potent and effective in the long run.