Parenting Advice From Joy Berry: Ted Kennedy’s Legacy

The announcement that Ted Kennedy passed away brought back a very fond memory.

I was fortunate enough to watch him and Hillary Clinton present to the Senate a resolution regarding education. I was in Washington D.C. to help my mom fulfill her lifelong dream of visiting the nation’s capital city when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. Our visit to the capital building was one of the highlights of our joint adventure.

Our visit to the Senate was surreal because, for some unknown reason, my mom and I were one of very few visitors in the gallery. In addition, no one else was on the Senate floor while Senator Kennedy and Senator Clinton made their presentation to whoever was presiding over the proceedings.

Naturally, I was extremely impressed and encouraged with what the two senators were advocating. However, my ultraconservative mother found it impossible to abide my enthusiasm for long.

Lunch after our visit to the capital building became a heated debate during which my mom went on endlessly about both Bill Clinton’s and the Kennedy brothers’ legendary indiscretions as womanizers. From my mom’s perspective, nothing could possibly mitigate their unforgivable shortcomings.

Even though I am not willing to go as far as my mom went with her judgments and incriminations, it’s difficult for me to understand how anyone could put into jeopardy a lifetime legacy for a few moments of instant gratification. But then again, as I have been told on many occasions, “You are not a man and therefore you could never understand.” However, I don’t necessarily agree with that assessment. I think that I don’t understand because I come from such humble beginnings I have never felt entitled, and I have great difficulty identifying with those who do.

Indeed, my father was fond of telling all four of his children, “You’re no better than anyone else and no one owes you anything. If you want something, you’ve got to earn it.”

So, while some might think that people who are entitled are lucky, I think the opposite is true. As we have witnessed throughout history, feelings of entitlement can get one into a lot of trouble. They can even lead to behavior that casts shadows of doubt over a hard-earned legacy—and in Ted Kennedy’s case, that’s a real shame.