Parenting Advice From Joy Berry: Neda’s Death and Violence in Kids
Recently, I went to a family restaurant that had television monitors throughout and a few video games that were located in a special section. Although the combination of TV and video game sounds was almost deafening, I had a hankering for the mini corn dogs on the menu, so I decided to ignore the sounds and stay.
The hostess led me to a table directly under a monitor and facing a table for four. Seated at the table across from me were a mother, father, and two elementary school age boys. When I sat down, the boys bolted from their table to play what sounded like some very violent video games. They returned only when they ran out of quarters.
Their boisterous return prompted me to look up from the book that I was reading. When I did, I was drawn to the eyes of both parents fixed on the TV monitor over me. Looks of horror were frozen on their faces. At the same time, the boys watched the TV monitor with no expression whatsoever.
After whatever was on TV had ended, the parents sat motionless—obviously stunned by what they had seen. As for the boys, they dove into their chicken wings as though nothing had happened.
Later I saw what the parent saw. It was the shooting and death of Neda Agha-Soltan, a beautiful, sixteen-year-old Iranian woman who was attending the protests of the recently “elected” president. Watching the blood and life seep from Neda’s body was something that I will never forget. I’m almost certain that the same is true for the two parents in the restaurant.
As for the two boys—what difference was there between that horrifying image and the things that they see every day via TV, movies, and video games? Is it any wonder that there is an escalation in the incidents of children getting guns and shooting their peers?
When questioned, some of the young perpetrators have shown an inability to grasp the permanence of their actions. After all, they had witnessed thousands of shootings that did not result in death. Or worse yet, the deaths they observed did not seem to matter. So what would be different for them about this situation?
I’m suspicious of anyone who says that the violence that kids are exposed to is of no consequence. It is of consequence—even if only in the way that it dulls a child’s sensitivity to violence and its inevitable outcome. I wish that the people who allow or support violent content would have seen the frightening contrast between the look on the parents’ faces and the look on the boys’ faces in the restaurant when all four of them were watching the precious life of a young woman slip away—a young woman who her family claimed was, “the light of our lives.” 
