Parenting Advice From Joy Berry: Drugs, Alcohol, and Bribes

As far as I can tell, there’s only one good thing that came out of my excessively conservative and restrictive background. That is the fact that I have never smoked, I’ve never used illegal drugs, and I didn’t try alcohol until I was well into my thirties—which resulted in my never developing a dependence on any of these things.

While I am not foolish enough to conclude from my own experience that fundamentalism is the only way to escape addictions to tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, I do believe that abstinence in the formative years helps one avoid substance abuse in later years. That is why I support the current laws that attempt to restrict kids from using addictive substances.

Because of the current laws, and because of research that suggests that people who develop a taste for alcohol at an early age are more likely to develop a dependence on it, I do not ascribe to the strategy that “because every child is going to drink, parents should allow their children to drink in their home where the drinking can be supervised.”

First and foremost, underage drinking is against the law. But secondly, underage drinking can interfere with a child’s mental and social development. If alcohol can impair the brain function of an adult, how much more would it impair the brain development and function of a child? In addition, if kids grow up experiencing the concept that a good time cannot happen without drugs or alcohol, what are the chances that all of their recreational activities won’t be dependent on these things in order to be successful?

Teaching moderation is crucial. However, it is never going to completely mitigate a taste for drugs and alcohol that has been acquired during childhood.

My brother-in-law used an interesting tactic with my two nephews. He promised to give them a car if they made it all the way through high school and college without drinking or using illegal substances. The bribe worked, and now both boys, who are well into their thirties, drink only occasionally.

So is it any wonder that, as my granddaughters careen toward “the experimental years” I worry, and in moments of weakness and fear I find myself thinking, Anyone up for a bribe?