Parenting Advice From Joy Berry: So What Can We Learn from Jon And Kate – Part One
The subject of divorce is a continuous thread that runs throughout public consciousness. However, sometimes it takes center stage when a well-known couple announces that they are divorcing. Such is the case with Jon and Kate, the stars of a reality show that also features their twins and sextuplets.
While I don’t watch the show, it’s hard to ignore the media hoopla that has tracked the couple’s journey to the end of the road. And, while no one can know for certain what caused the demise of the marriage, one tends to speculate from all of the data floating around in cyberspace.
Some speculate that the overwhelming responsibility of raising eight kids was the culprit. Others speculate that the problem was the pressure of being on a TV show and having cameras filming around the clock.
I am inclined to believe that the reasons are less exotic. From what I have seen, both people seem to be in that space where the problems seem insurmountable, and it appears to be easier to walk away rather than work to fix things. Couples in this space are often bereft of the energy and motivation to keep trying.
What people at this juncture cannot truly comprehend are the enormous amounts of time, energy, and other resources that will be required to survive the divorce and live a quality life beyond it—especially when children are involved. In other words, if one thinks that making the decision to divorce is the hardest part of the process, they have another thing coming. Once the high of one’s newfound freedom wears off, things get a whole lot worse before they might get better.
In the final analysis, the decision to stay in a marriage and work things out or the decision to walk away poses equal challenges . And both decisions require substantial amounts of physical, emotional, and psychic effort to bring about positive results.
So God help us when the incredibly important job of choosing the right lifetime partner is not given the careful research, thought, and attention that it needs. Or God help us when we commit to a lifetime partnership and fail to do everything humanly possible to keep that commitment. Because choosing the wrong partner in the first place or not honoring a commitment to the right partner after the vows have been made can only mean pain and suffering for everyone involved.
See SO WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM JON AND KATE—PART TWO for advice regarding surviving decisions about divorce.
