Parenting Advice From Joy Berry: Fighting and Violence

While I consider myself to be a bona fide movie buff, I don’t much like war, action, or science fiction movies. I can’t take a lot of violence—and there’s usually a lot of it in these three movie genres. More important, the violence is often glamorized and even consciously or subconsciously recommended as a way to resolve conflict.

Resolving conflict without violence is not always a message that sells movie tickets. So I understand why the people who invest in movies don’t seek out pacifistic vehicles. In the end, our society suffers so that moviemakers can reap profits from films that feature violent resolutions and all the wrong messages they convey. This fact is especially evident in schools, playgrounds, and athletic fields around the world. When a conflict erupts, most children—especially boys—turn to violence for a resolution.

It’s not good enough to tell children that fighting is not acceptable when they constantly see adults cheering violence. If we don’t want our children to fight, we need to reconsider the ways in which fighting is encouraged through the toys, games we expose them to. Having raised a son, I know that this is not easy to do. But for the sake of a healthy, peaceful world, we simply must keep trying.